break in the sky

Luna gave me a great gift yesterday. Over the past few months, I have come to the realization that my life up until this point has been a product of me saying YES to everything. Constantly always needing to work through in my mind my tomorrow the night before. It was a mess. If my planner went missing, oh god. Can't even go there. Things would be lost.

And then I took on the responsibility of a dog. Now any of you who read this blog who have taken on the multidimensional task of purchasing an animal (at least more interactive than a fish) know that you are officially a parent at this point. You have entered into a new realm of responsibility and dedication. Time management better be a card that you were dealt and if its not you need to Google it to find the best ways of achieving it.

But anyway, I did create yet another challenge in my life and soon enough found myself treading water. Suddenly my life turned from being able to flow gently with the current, to struggling with all of my might to keep my head above water. And I found myself loving this new companion in my life, however realizing that she was in a way facilitating this mindset of mine to be constantly demanded.

So here I am now. I was faced with the harsh reality that Luna for the rest of her life will have to be medically managed. I was aware of the people around me who were so preciously willing to offer assistance in ways so that I would be able to keep her. And for moments there, I considered it. I considered keeping her and "making it work," just for the sake of not saying no. And then I noticed my selfishness and potential fear of cutting something out of my life (eek).

And then it happened. Clarity. I realized that Luna is spoonfeeding me an opportunity to change my ways. She is forcing me to say no to keeping her and that gift is priceless. So with this blog, I give my thanks to my precious dog, who is now spending her days on 160 acres of land with her birth mother. Awww. I just love that thought.

And I go from here, realizing that every person deserves to take care of themselves and the people around them. I was able to give Luna all that she needs in order to be happy and live the fullest life, and Luna was able to give me freedom. She opened my door to change.