do the differences really make a difference?

I have learned an important aspect of romantic relationships that has stuck with me prominently and has been an ongoing lesson especially as of late.

All of us clearly have "a type" or so we think, people of the opposite or same sex that seem to attract us initially and who we feel serve as a beautiful partner. And I have really been on both sides of the track here, and have explored dating men with whom I have had totally common interests and men with whom I shared none. Both were incredible learning experiences, but I have found one particularly interesting element that had stopped me from dating men with less common interests: people warned me about these external differences which would pose problems in the future and for those uncrossing paths there would never be true commonality.

So in my last few years, I have somewhat avoided men that didn't completely fit a mold because I was disinterested in justifying my choices, for defending the differences to people who I knew and loved, etc...but what seems to be a more common thread throughout it all is that I had this preconceived conception of how happiness was achieved and how relationships truly worked at the end of the day.

But what was it that I was really afraid of, when I would choose men who were seemingly similar to me, at least on paper? I was afraid of being with someone so different from me, because I convinced myself that it was unworkable.

And a recent experience in my world here in Boulder has reiterated the important place that I feel I am in my life right now. For many years, I have maintained the premise that those external differences play a much more minor role than people think. Those differences have blinded people from experiencing outside of comfort zones and have prevented people from living a life outside of expectation. To me it seems unfortunate that we are convinced that we should be of people who are completely like minded.

For me, I seek out those men who I don't necessarily feel fit a mold, whatever that means. I find it so intriguing when I am attracted to a man unexpectedly and that our relationship fills a part of me that I didn't even know existed.

Those differences are a true testament that a connection between two people, and a genuine respect and love are present without extraneous structural differences. Seek out those who make you happy and you will find happiness within.