its all about delivery

I have learned a valuable lesson today...shocker :-)

Many times when I have had interactions with other people and there have been conflicts, a trend of mine has been to approach people as though I would want to be approached. I am someone who is comfortable with confrontation and insists on honesty. I pride myself in making people feel comfortable enough around me to approach me with anything, and therefore throughout my life I have taken on the role of handling people in the same manner as I would like to be handled.

And over the past few months, I am learning the importance of understanding many things relating to conflict. I am learning to examine my audience, who I am speaking to and appreciating how they would like to be approached.

An important factor to consider here is having both parties' needs met. If I approach someone who doesn't appreciate confrontation, I should find a healthy balance between saying exactly what I need to say and making sure that the other party is nurtured.

I know this because I went through deliberation between myself and a person very dear to my heart. I had been confronted with an issue between the two of us, and for about 2 weeks I planned in my head how I would confront him. But I realized through that period of time how all of my solutions were ways in which I would want to be approached. And until I came to an awareness of him disconnecting from me as I approached him, I saw in me the importance of dual care.

So I think of it to be critical, approach people you are in conflict with in a caring and nurturing manner. Allow the other person to be relaxed in their reception of the information, and always make sure that you are able to say exactly what you need to say.