I have found myself both in friendship and romantic relationships getting frustrated at times for feeling distanced, or annoyed...And I have watched a progression of sorts that repeats itself in the exact same manner each time, and only now am I gaining awareness around it to understand how and why it is happening.
I find myself for one reason or another having a particular need that isn't being met. Whether it be lack of communication, emotional distance, personality quirks...whatever it may be, there are these streams of time when I will feel annoyed.
Now I see that I feel annoyed and find myself not saying anything to the other person about it. Most of the reason for this is, I find myself, especially now really picking and choosing my battles. The element of perspective in my life has been a key component in the past year, and I have been very conscious of what I choose to bring and not bring to the table.
However, I have found that in relationship, the other person will NEVER know that I am feeling these things if I never voice them. So the progression naturally travels as: I get frustrated or annoyed, bottle it up for a period of time, find it effecting the way that I interact with the other person, and get even more frustrated as to why things aren't changing.
I have seen that I expect people to read minds in a way. I just want the other person to understand my inner workings and know that I am frustrated (despite me saying anything or outwardly expressing it). So here I am with this new gained awareness of my habitual cycle and am eager to put the knowledge to the test.
From now on in both friendship and romance, when I am feeling any kind of emotion, I will voice it. That will facilitate open and clear communication and will allow myself and the other person to coexist more fluidly together as relational beings.
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