groundless

We are learning in class how we have "identities based on contraction." The basic premise behind this is how we come to a point of self actualization in our lives, and are curious about why/how it comes when it comes. We see ourselves as changing beings and don't understand how we got here but are so appreciative that it is present. In this process as well, there is an opportunity to reflect on our live before, and how we have shed this old skin and have grown a beautiful and different new layer of protection.

When I reflected, I saw in myself this presence of an identity based on contraction. And when I say that, it doesn't necessarily mean that my muscles were constantly tensed and I was never relaxed, but it is more a sense of emotional contraction. As we are raised, we are influenced by a myriad of expectation and obligation. We are taught the basic premise of "right and wrong" and what is appropriate and what is inappropriate. We are very rarely ever taught from day 1 to form our own values and beliefs. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, because we cling very dearly to our parents for a sense of guidance. How else would we navigate our way through life if we didn't have authority figures and role models to learn from?

However, I feel like there is a glitch in the system, because so many people find themselves well into adulthood without a basic sense of their own morals, but yet they have traveled along this path of life with the ideals of influence. This is where the sense of contraction comes in, where has our sense of identity gone? Where do we fit into this huge mix?

The interesting thing about our identity is this: it is groundless. Every day our identity is changing, there are different things that we are learning, different morals and values that we are adopting as our own, and in no way is our identity constant. That is something we need to become comfortable with. This identity based on contraction only comes from a place of unawareness, and it is up to us to determine where we do fit, and what does resonate as real for us.