So many individuals around me are suffering. It seems like on a daily basis I am confronted by people that I love who are being tested by the storms that are part of life.
These storms are also called the "reds." They are the dangerous and challenging spots, they are those periods of our lives where are physical or emotionally being are hurt. It is difficult in the midst of the reds to see beyond them. Sometimes it is otherwise impossible.
A very dear friend of mine has suffered a deep deep red for the past two years. Surrounded by death and unreliability in romantic partners, she is left completely broken by the unpredictability of life. She is unable at this point to see good in her day. She doesn't know what to do at this point, and doesn't see a light at the end of her tunnel. All she can see is the dark passageway that she seems to be blindly navigating through. Life for her is about struggling to be above the surface of the water while not really knowing how to swim, as opposed to freely floating with an ease in the stroke.
The reds can come in many forms. They can manifest as tragedy, death around you, personal attack on character, inability to achieve goals, etc...Their only determinant of being a red is in providing an opportunity for an individual to learn a lesson, but in a seemingly difficult way. More often then not, they provoke sadness, anxiety, distrust, fear, and questioning.
In my life, I understand the reds. Nursing school for me seemed like one big red. Day after day, my tests were relentless and my sadness seemed unshakable. I found my reliability on trust and faith to be waning, and I felt very insecure in my ability to really live. I was scared to proceed on with myself "as I used to be" because there was so much fear that I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. There wasn't trust in my day.
Then after nursing school, and after graduation I was able to see light at the end of my tunnel. For the first time in several years, my days felt authentic. And then I suffered a string of tragedy last year that seemed to take me back to those distrustful days. That was terrifying for me, because all I wanted was to have faith. All I wanted was a life filled with lessons that didn't seem to rock me to my core.
And only on retrospect am I able to see that the reds do come and go. As do storms. And it is up to us as humans to whether that storm, not just for the sake of "getting through" but learning lessons along the way. As a storm rolls around, we as people have an innate sense and faith that the storm will pass. However with the reds of life, sometimes we don't have that trust.
Why is this do you think? There is something beautiful in the reliability of an actual storm. It is guaranteed that it won't always be lightening and down pouring rain. However, when life beats us to the ground time and time again, we then lose that faith that it will pass.
All I can do right now is think of the reds as a physical storm. I must have the sense in myself and in the world around me that there are always going to be lessons to be learned. The same way I would not want a physical storm to take my life, I can't let the reds either. I have to take the red and turn it into gold.
1 comment:
I just have a tangent comment to this entry--"The Reds." A friend of mine (Sara Nolan) recently wrote in her blog, "As I look into it, the enchantment of being alive is very much about noticing and even worshipping…the paranormal nesting inside the normal, or the normal as always a bit more than itself…" Granted, the quote is out of context, but she's referring to humans' ability to intuit a reality beyond this one (God, Fate, Chance, whatever). It's like, even in our very real wanderings, our very real sufferings, our very real happinesses, we can sense something "else" around us, something "paranormal," as Sara calls it. There is something "else" present in our "very real" experiences that is actually bigger than us and this world. How humans most often deal with this something "else" is by putting their lives into perspective, realizing that there is something PRESENT with us and yet BEYOND us, too; there's MORE than this life. It's as if there's something "else" we haven't fully experienced yet...something different, perhaps better, perhaps not. But the point is, it's here, around us everday--this other "door," if you will...another life. And personally, I think the possibility of "different" is uplifting...worth holding out for.
Post a Comment