without comparison

I have discovered what it is about the Special Olympics that makes it so magnificent. The whole competitive edge, the comparisons between participants is totally eliminated. I feel as though such a vital lesson can be learned here.

We race through life living a mentality that can be very selfish. So much of the time I feel myself having run the course of my days doing whatever I could to make myself feel good, on top, whatever I could do to stand out.

I have seen that so much of my life for the past few years, until I hit a wall of self realization, was for the expectation of others. I was so impacted and consumed with my personal success and how it measured up to the successes of others.

It is the same thing, and it starts so young even. Take the classroom scenario for example. There are a group of middle school students who are receiving tests back. And immediately, before each one looks at their own score, they look at the scores of the students around them. So this isn't something that only adults manifest. This is something instilled in us even as little sprouts.

What does that competition and comparison bring though honestly? The way I see it is this: a little competition in your life motivates you to be the best that you can be. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but when pushed to far and when it has the potential to dominate elements of your life, and you find yourself compromising your own self to achieve certain standards, there is trouble on the horizon.

In my opinion, comparison is dangerous. I feel as though when we as individuals begin to compare, then we are not yet living for our own personal satisfaction, or better yet we don't even know what our own personal satisfaction is. In my life, I have allowed my sense of competition to get the better of me, but for me I wasn't necessarily competing with others, it was more of a battle within myself.

I had formed these preconceived notions of what I thought my "best" was, and I had this impression of where I wanted to get and how I wasn't going to let anyone stand in my way. This was manifested most prominently in my schoolwork and that is when the cheating began. The grades gotten on my own weren't good enough. But this is the interesting thing, I didn't even know what it was that I wanted. I just knew that the work on my own was sub-par.

It is amazing how we can form these habits and take them to the extreme, for me it was such an undeniable sense of competition that had totally consumed me, my body, and my mind. Until that moment of realization, and I found that me striving for this unknowable goal is just an un winnable battle that I don't even have to overcome.

So here I am. And I look at the Special Olympics famous scene: one man on the track trips and every participant stops to help him up. It isn't about winning anymore. Let go as much of hte competition and comparison as you can, for it isn't what matters at the end of the day. For those in the Special Olympics it never was. It is about the process of life that we develop and grow through together.