suffering...

There is something interesting about suffering. When I find myself in the midst of a painful emotional experience, all I can feel is the hurt. All I can focus on is the present and I pretty much do not see the light at the end of the tunnel.

It is very difficult to do otherwise, but I feel as though in retrospect I appreciate it. I appreciate it because that pain and difficulty stretches me and tests me. It forces me to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It enables me to appreciate times in my life when I am not suffering.

I feel as though so many people fall surrender to the dynamic of suffering. It penetrates the soul and mind in ways that we didn't know possible. Yet on the other end, there is calm in the sea.

So here it is, I remember being in the throws of grieving a loss not too long ago and being curious and scared that my life would never be peaceful. I resented those periods when I felt like I was doing nothing but mourning a loss or being preoccupied with sadness. There are those moments of truly marinating in the hurt and feeling the penetration so deep that you genuinely don't feel like that kind of heaviness can lift.

Then I came to a realization. It is those lengthy periods of suffering that truly have made me into the person that I am today. I have seen the benefits of suffering manifest in my daily life and in my relationships. If someone comes to me with a problem or concern that parallels in any way something that I have experienced, I can show extreme empathy. I have such a deep and profound respect for those who can acknowledge suffering and try and work through it.

In the past being with people who were suffering made me uncomfortable. Often enough I became nervous that they had emotionally traveled to a place I didn't understand. And now, I become sympathetic. I become more connected.

When I come to the last of my days, I want to look back on my life and appreciate those times of suffering because they have indeed made me strong and whole. They have made me human. So appreciate the hard months and years. Don't be intimidated by them. Also keep the optimism that they are represent a part of your life, they don't make up your life. I mean, if you think about it, what would life be like without any suffering? It would be boring and mundane and challenge free.