every single process

It seems as though these days every day has been a transformation for me in some regard. I haven't really realized it until a few months ago, but the change that is occurring within me on a daily basis is pretty interesting to me. Has it always been that way, and I just didn't have as much self awareness to realize it? Or have certain events and circumstances in my life just provided a catalyst for more change?

Who is to know. But it is interesting to know right now how much is brewing side at any given moment. I feel like each interaction with someone, each work opportunity and each class period is leaving me with new layers of myself to uncover and new thoughts to marinate in.

But it is interesting in the sense that each time I feel like I have gone through an individual digging process, for a brief moment in time I feel clarity and feel like I have really gotten to the depth of me. And then a new opportunity for self growth emerges and there are yet other layers to uncover. It is remarkable, each human literally has millions of layers of complexity. And everybody does. Now whether we have the chance or even desire to do the digging is individual. Not everybody has one or either.

But it does arise questions in me. With regard to each of these processes, are any of them more true than the other? It seems as though right now I can generally categorize these years of my life as "processing years," and mainly I feel it is due to where I am in school and what I am studying. But never the less, I truly felt as though when I finished nursing school and for the few months after, I was done for the moment with heavy processing. And then I started at Naropa University, and it started all over again. So should there be any reason for me to discount what happened to me then? I did for a little while for some reason, I was just feeling as though the current "digging" was the most true. And for a second forgot to appreciate the past "digging."

The digging isn't painless though. And for that reason, sometimes we forget to appreciate the process because we as a society are so inclined and eager to avoid the pain and release it from our conscious and memory. And therefore, we may then forget the journey. But here, marinate in the pain. Know that this kind of pain, is good pain. This is the pain that stimulates change, and encourages transformation.

All of these self transformations contains such a plethora of truth and foundation. Each one allows for the next to happen. It is the staircase of life. I read a quote a few days ago that I really loved: don't just stare at the steps, step up the stairs." So step up through each of these processes and appreciate every single moment. They make you who you are today. No single step should be left unattended and unacknowledged. They hold so much significance and importance. Remember the journey, don't just appreciate the finish line.