destiny or coincidence?

I have been thinking a lot about fate and destiny lately. I used to be of the mentality that life was this course that we were given yes, but that everything placed in front of us that seemed to accelerate us further in a particular direction was coincidence. I really had a hard time believing that "fate" was anything other than hooey really.

Now I am proud to say that my horizons have expanded and that I feel differently. I think for so long I believed that coincidences came before me, and my path would deviate slightly. And then people I would meet who would influence and change my course as well would be primarily a result of coincidence. I would find myself saying things to myself such as "well we lived in the same town for so long, we were bound to meet." or "wow, what a coincidence that I was in the same place at the same time as my long lost preschool best friend." They seem like insignificant examples, but to me these were good indicators of the things that would happen so often. I would find myself being shaped by these various coincidences as I called them.

I would be expanded by meeting certain people, enlightened by exposure to new literature, and deeply moved by new elements of the cultures of the world. And I felt as though all of it was a product of the quirks of life...until now.

I have had far too many "coincidences" in my days to think now that fate doesn't exist. I believe in destiny. I believe in my heart that I was meant to go to nursing school so that I could come face to face with my disgressions. I believe that I came face to face with my disgressions so that I could live a much more honorable life yes but to develop a conscience. I believe that I developed a conscience so that I could become more self aware and crave that deeper meaning, to become desperate for a rich life and to be expanded. I feel as though I didn't pass my nursing board 4 times because life was telling me that this wasn't my path. I feel as though I discovered Naropa "coincidently" as an alleyway to this new self awareness development. My deciding to apply didn't come coincidently.

I had gone back and forth between applying or not, because I was worried that I wouldn't have fulfilled the prerequisite requirements in enough time to start the coursework. A dear friend told me that I had nothing to lose by applying, and she was right. So I did, and my getting in made me appreciate going for it. It made me realize that I want no regrets in this life. So I'm in now. Not by coincidence either.

I feel it is part of my path to be at Naropa. I have been in class a week and a half, and feel the change already.