its not what you're like, but what you like that counts

A phrase that sums up relationships right? There is a friend of mine lives in NY. And we have been emailing back and forth for a few months, and the topic of relationships came up.

And through his emailing me, he and I had been discussing this premise that in relationship, that connection is the desire. And that is true for me, I feel like I am picking my companion based on these feelings of synchronicity. But it is also something to be wary of, because presence of that connection doesn't necessarily lead to romance. Therefore, it is vital that the connection be examined for what it is. There are friendly soul mates and romantic soul mates.

But more importantly back to the title of the blog, its not what you're like, but what you like that counts. My friend in particular is really hard on himself regarding his own life's choices relating to past relationships. He isn't proud of who he is on the inside, which is so much what makes it difficult for him to open up and be vulnerable to women. He is afraid that when they finally see who he is on the inside, they will lose interest. And for me, I feel as though it is both important to see and understand what you're like and what you like in relationship.

In order for you to really understand what you want in this life, and specifically in relationship, you must see your inner working working. You must be able to respect your inner complexity and your neuroses. It is essential in order for us as humans to understand what we appreciate and value in our companion.

I feel like I am slowly learning to be opened to what I like in others that counts. What it is that I long for out of relationship. Is that connection that important to me or is it something that I have placed on this un-necessary throne? Is it something that has been pumped into me as being the ultimate goal in relationship? I feel like now is the time when I am searching the validity of the word "connection." Is it stimulated by an event between two people, is it a product of shared experience, is it simply there from the very beginning with no words spoken, or does it develop over years of shared time?

As of right now, I stand here. I want connection in my romantic companion. I want my partner to be someone that I would be elated to spend the rest of my life with. I feel this way because I have experienced it. I have felt those indescribable moments where there is nothing to say, but I know with confidence that it is felt for me too. So here I am.

I disagree with this statement, I don't feel like one part of it is more important than the other, I feel like they both work hand in hand in making our "relationship with relationship" as expansive as possible.