I have gained a little bit of insight into the American (and frankly other cultures as well, but this is the most apparent to me) way. I have seen so much of this tendency toward self distraction...There are many things that we all distract ourselves from. Humans on the general I have come to believe are in some essence afraid of approaching head on the complexity, unpredictability and dark side of life.
There are more families than not who pride themselves on these extravagant movie theaters in their homes, setting up 11 reclining chairs placed perfectly in front of a flat screen television. It is always on, pumping people full of mindless and frantic chaos that is in every way addicting. But then you find yourself on the other end of 5 hours of staring at a screen, wondering what exactly was gained through the process. But what is interesting is that this pattern is lived over and over.
The television has become a central feature for distraction from life in general. A person comes home from a long day at work, stressed out over the economy or employee dynamic, and is only eager for something that will draw his/her mind away from actually thinking about it. Think about holidays...so much of what people associate with holidays are endless hours with family members centered around a television, all muted and focused in on a particular sports event or some glammed up program. Please don't misunderstand, I am a sucker for ABC.com and getting to watch free episodes, but as I always say...moderation. It isn't unhealthy to exercise opportunities to not think about the all consuming stress of the occupational world, but I believe that the manner in which Americans on the general go about it is what is detrimental.
Distraction also comes into play with the process of grieving. There is always that mentality of "just keep yourself busy," when dealing with the sickness or loss of someone else. We have become so deeply conditioned to believe that keeping ourselves busy as an opportunity to get through something is the preferred method. I do believe that marinating it isn't exactly the best approach ever, but I feel as though we have found ourselves on the far other end of the continuum, seeking out any opportunity to not have to think about the actual issues at hand.
I know that when my dear friend Eve Carson was killed a few months ago, I was encouraged by all parties to just stay busy, because then I would be able to progress forward with my life, and not have excessive opportunity to be sad. Well you know what I think? I say give each its due. Be sad, allow yourself to not be busy and really understand and appreciate those moments of vulnerability. They aren't as intimidating as we have made them out to be.
As Kahlil Gibran says, "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain." I have always really resonated with this quote, because I used to live so much of my life afraid of what it meant to be anxious or depressed. But when I discovered that the more I actually lived those emotions and the lower I felt, the more joy I could contain in my own being. And I have lived both extremes. And his words are true.
I want to be the kind of person who doesn't run away from issues at hand. Everybody needs a break, I am a firm believer of that. But I don't think that avoidance is the answer. I feel like having the courage to acknowledge the pain and suffering makes it less powerful in my life. If I am able to really express and feel what I am scared of or anxious over, then those issues become surmountable.
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