a year...and cake!

Unbelievable. I think about my year of 2008 and immediately I think of tragedy, I think of lessons, I think of pain and suffering, I think of anxiety, I think of sleepless nights, and appreciation for my breath...but today, I think of Katherine Arnold Wolf.

I think of the fact that it has been one year today since her life was turned upside down and rattled. She was shown the door to death and closed it. She told the world and herself that she was going to survive this and came as close as one can to passing on...

I remember that morning when I got the phone call at about 7:45am on my way to work. It was my mother and all she said was "Katherine Arnold has had a terrible brain accident. I don't know anything else, but she is in surgery and it doesn't look good." I remember my reaction...I was numb. I was almost jaded, as terrible as it sounds...but I had been confronted with so much sadness and tragedy that I couldn't really understand it. Life didn't seem normal anymore, life seemed fraught with danger and I felt boxed away from it.

I became obsessed with her mother's blog for a few months there after, and I was constantly checking for updates and new information on her condition. In June, I went to Los Angeles to visit her. And it was one of the most incredible wake up calls of my life. I remembered this woman from high school, vibrancy and energy seeping out of every pore of her skin, gregariousness and grace in her relationships...and I stared at her from the other side of the hospital room and swirled internally.

I went from seeing beauty queen, blonde bombshell, and diva...to courage, and stamina, resilience and power. I suddenly didn't see her externally anymore, I could really feel what came from inside of her. She looked at me, took my hand and said..."I am glad that you are here. Are you friends with me on facebook?" Hilarious, and I will never forget it.

One year later, I am still in awe. She can eat now. A feat beyond her wildest dreams, she is optimistic about the state of matters and has been able to sufficiently see the good to come out of this. Her ability to strive for fullness, in EVERY circumstance is seeping into me daily. She will not have to rely on a feeding tube for her nutrition, and I feel like this is one of many steps to further integrate her with the life that she once knew. Now it is a new beginning, and she wants cake. Cake with sprinkles. I'll eat to that. Katherine I love you and marvel at you.