finding sanctity in the transition

I was never of the impression that humans were meant to be one thing. Thank you Madeline Van Dyck. My mother, has exhausted the professional world. She has done exactly the things that SHE wanted to do. She understands her talents and strengths, uses them, and applies them to tons of various occupational arenas. For me, I have grown up under an umbrella of privilege, but have been taught that money does not provide you what you want it is that determination, diligence, perseverance, dedication, and the will. Those don't come from anywhere but within. Look for them.

For me, I did finish nursing school with the intention of yes maybe later in life being many things, but for the present and near future, nursing would be my focus. What is interesting is that I finished my undergraduate education with the exact same mental attitude as when I entered. I was going to do nursing, and consider very little else. WHAT? Awkward.

I came to Boulder honestly with the mentality that I in no way was going to "float." And what I mean by float is this: there are so many people post graduation who just float for a while, "figuring out what they want." But what I don't like about floating, is people use it as a period of time to distract themselves from entering the real world. They are taking a break from reality, and while I now appreciate it for what it is, I didn't always. Well that wasn't going to be me, because frankly I was above it, and "I knew what I wanted." (insert obvious arrogance). But this is absolutely something that no one was really privy to, because I never talked about it. I was a little ashamed of my pettiness so therefore really worked through those issues as best as I could on my own. What did I end up doing? I floated. Worked filler jobs...I was in transition.

Within a relatively short period of time though, I changed. I wanted to do so much. I wanted to wear many hats. And I entered into my exploration to find my gifts. What was it about me that was unique, what cards did I hold that make me a worthy candidate? I searched within, journaled about it, talked about it, cried about it, got anxiety over it, but found sanctity in the transition from certainty to uncertainty. Then slowly, I discovered something that moved me. I love talking to people, I love offering and seeking advice, I love hearing people's stories. It really does make me feel whole.

Lesson for today: sometimes we embark on educational paths with the hopes that upon graduation, we will emerge with a solid impression of where we will go with it. But it didn't turn out that way for me. I am now doing things that I never imagined I would be doing. And so cherish that period of uncertainty and appreciate it for what it is. It isn't easy, but it is an important exercise. Be many things in your life.