settling for...

For some reason, I have been thinking so much about people and their ability to settle for being less than totally satisfied with any given situation because they are unwilling to make themselves vulnerable and uncomfortable for the sake of coming out on the other end potentially happier.

This seeps into many of life's arenas. For example, a woman finds herself deeply submerged 10 years into a marriage with 3 children, and is absolutely unable to bring herself out of the misery that she embodies and has embodied since the beginning for one of many reasons: she never developed her own skill set separate from the life of her husband and family and being the caretaker, she is afraid of raising the children on her own, she doesn't believe she can support herself and her children financially, the list goes on. Think about that as a life. And that isn't an uncommon story. So many people find themselves deeply unhappy, longing for a much different life, but stay because of the "easy factor."

Or take the man doing the 9-5 job every day. He has been working the same cubicle back office 40 hour week with the same routine and the same motion. He wakes up morning, dreading the alarm, makes that commute, returns home to a wife or empty home, makes it an early night, and repeats the routine for 40 years. Then comes this realization as he is retiring: I have just dedicated my entire life's work to an expected routine, an expected grind without exploring so many of the world's opportunities because I was willing to settle for what I felt was expected.

Ok so take a friendship: you find yourself being taken advantage of by a friend. She doesn't necessarily do it intentionally, but you find yourself a victim of her lack of accountability (be there), being subject to relentless negativity (been there), been the nurturer in the relationship but never the nurtured (been there), there are so many aspects of a friendship where there can be "well intended selfishness." And there you find yourself, staying afloat in relationships because you never had them out of your life, and can't imagine them not part of your world.

So obviously, through the winding paths of this existence, there can be many circumstances where you can settle. Settling isn't always a bad thing, but I feel as though it is detrimental when you find yourself turning over in your mind the reasons for why you turned left instead of right, why you chose to stay rather than go.

Lesson # 20000: Don't settle if you feel your heart searching for a greater truth. Don't be afraid of the vulnerability of the unknown. Know that you will find your course, but the course doesn't always come to you. Be the seeker. Don't be wrapped up in expectation. Don't choose a life course because it is something others want for you. Don't settle for anything that causes you to be less than happy.

Here is a tidbit into how I am not necessarily settling, and how I find myself escaping my own box of expectation. I finished nursing school with full intention of pursuing it. For I had "my course" all picked out. I was going to graduate at 21, immediately apply to a masters program to be Nurse Anesthetist, and by 24 I would be making $120,000. My life was looking good. God Greer, please get a grip. What in the world was that all about? So much of the reason I wanted it, now it wasn't the whole reason because I am stimulated deeply by the OR, but I couldn't wait for people to ask my parents what I was doing and for them to be able to tell them. Eek, that was hard to admit. And here I am now, applying and SO PUMPED about potentially being a student in the fall at a Buddhist originated University to get my masters in counseling. Some people think it's cool, some people think its weird. Bottom line is, I'm happy. Be happy and forget the rest.