As a preface, the reason for the picture of zucchini bread is at the moment I came into a friend of mine's apartment that I had a particularly intense conversation with, she was making the most delicious looking zucchini bread. So there you go. While being in the middle of a thick conversation last night with a new friend that I have made, we were discussing individual situations that we had found ourselves in and desperately needed the opinion of the other person. Through our talking, I realized a handful of things about myself that I maybe had known, but didn't necessarily acknowledge.
I want to kind of dive into one of them that really struck me. I realized with the help of my friend, that I am so enthusiastic about taking life on the proactive front. Always I have been a "results" kinda gal. I will explain this mentality through one specific example: my puppy Luna, who actually isn't so much a puppy now was sick for the first month or so that I had her. She was ravaged by a pretty common parasite that puppies get out west and was having the hardest time keeping food in and gaining weight. Needless to say, I was preoccupied constantly and always worrying about my girl. My mother came out for a visit and told me not to worry and that everything would be fine. I absolutely didn't believe her until I was able to see Luna improve. There I am, a results kinda gal.
I don't really know how I feel about this particular aspect of my personality. In a sense, yes there is an element of me that loves it. If there is something I want or feel would better my life, I am proactive and make it happen. But how about with the matters that deserve time to develop? Romance for example take time to develop.
For me, I have learned quite a valuable lesson. Opportunities have landed in my path this summer where my need for action has been put to the test. And I have acted. I have gone with my instinct here and acted as though I have always acted. I have taken matters into my own hands and finally was able to see that this method isn't always the best. I have been shown the result of what happens when I move too quickly. I have been shown the door of sorts as a product of my impatience.
So now is the time when I am eager to turn the table. For me at this moment, I long to develop my patience. I want to see myself as letting life guide me and show me its course. I think as well along with this mentality is being privy to life's guidance, and being aware of what is placed in front of me. I don't want to be so self involved though that I miss them. So here I draw the line and attempt to create the best balance for myself. I want to come to a point where I can be content with my present, understand that what is meant to be will happen, and to be open to taking life's hand and following it.
1 comment:
Greer, I really enjoyed reading this blog entry. I have been, and am currently, into this audio book by Pema Chodron based on her novel (aptly named "Getting Unstuck"). I think I might have already recommended it to you. The audio book is a recording of some of her teachings at a retreat and, at the retreat, she discusses (very articulately) the emotional and mental attachments we form with respect to people, events, situations, etc. She also explores how, and the extent to which, these attachments can block our subjective emotional and mental experiences. The entire set is truly engaging and thought provoking. As you are becoming ensconced in the counseling field, it is my belief is that you'll find it particularly fascinating. I enjoy listening to the CDs when I'm on my way to a client's house, running errands in the car, or just chillin' at home.
Also Greer, I have to say that I am very very proud of you. You have been through a multitude of difficult and trying times in the past few years. I am not flattering you when I say that, through it all, you have shown remarkable poise, resilience, and, perhaps most importantly, an innate willingness to accept the totality of your experiences as they have occurred. It is my perspective that it is this latter character trait which has contributed to your emotional depth, your maturity, and your ability to successfully face and address future challenges that you encounter in school and career environments as well as in relationships with family and friends. At times, these life areas and relationships can be difficult to manage, but I believe that you can and will, as you have in the past, continue to strive to embrace the whole of each of your experiences.
Geeb, I really enjoy our phone conversations and our g-mail chats. I feel that we need to find a time when we are both generally available (a task that might prove difficult) where we can converse in some way on a regular basis. I miss you all the way out there in Colorado! Michelle, Devon, and I send our love from Georgia and are very much looking forward to seeing you when you visit next. Devon is especially looking forward to meeting his Aunt Greer for the very first time! This morning, he kicked out in Misha's tum (in baby morse code) the following message:
Aunt Greer, please come and visit me soon.
I already know that we are going to be best friends.
I have not even been born yet, and I already want to come and visit you in Colorado.
I love you! See you soon!
What a smart little boy! I don't know many prenatal babies who already know baby morse code! We are already so proud of him and are totally in love with him. He's the greatest! Take care of yourself little Geeb. We love you bunches. Talk to you soon!
Love,
your oldest bro,
Chris
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