trusting the process

I did this student art workshop today where we were given a set of instructions before embarking on our exercises. One of the instructions included trusting the process. There are many parallels between the art world and life. So much of the guidelines we were given throughout today could be related directly to life's lessons.

Trust the process. Don't be focused so much on a basic technique. Don't be caught up in the practicality of what you should be doing and how you should be doing it. Don't be consumed with the end product. Don't be trapped in past frustrations with a particular relationship to art and don't be biased toward today's project. Take today as a clean slate, and whatever you feel, paint it.

Wow. Where am I to go with this information? Art for me hasn't been anything other than an obligatory academic fulfillment through the 10th grade, and each day of STUDIO ART was all but a time to socialize with the people around me. In retrospect, I am realizing that I never paid enough attention to those classes, and was never fully aware of the vast world of expressive art. Art speaks worlds.

But for me on this day, I am trusting the process. And I want to not only apply this to art. I want to wake up every morning and trust the process. I want to see life for its complexity and trust its depth. I cannot ask why tragedy stands at my door, I must trust this process. I just was informed that a friend of mine living here in Boulder took his life a few days ago. I can ask why, I can remain sad and confused with unanswered question marks filling my brain. Or I can trust this process.

I don't mean to mention this quickly to communicate that it isn't devastating to me and my heart. But I have reached a new height. I must trust this process. I must take something of meaning from the situation. This man did bring much joy to my life, and as I sit here and think about him and the part he played in my life, I remember one thing: he was sweet, so sweet. And there I take a lesson...with everyone who enters my life, I will be sweet.

I want to be content in the trust, but right now I am just dipping my toe into the water. Now I don't know how cold the water will be, but am willing to test it out. Same with life, I am willing to give it my full trust. Instead of just thinking that I will have trust in my own process, I will live the trust.